King Leonidas Gives New Meaning to the Number “300”



Leonidas used to be the embodiment of fitness

and raw physical power. Now, he’s a

fat, drooling vegetable.



No longer devoting time to combat
training or exercise, Leonidas instead
uses his free time to ingest large
quantities of food.

Athens, Greece -- King Leonidas, the ruler of Sparta who is best known for his stand against the massive Persian army with a mere 300 Spartan warriors, gave new significance to the number 300 today when the number on his personal scale exactly matched the number of men he brought to the Hot Gates of Thermopylae.

“Being vanquished by King Xerxes really took a toll on me,” Leonidas said as he shoveled 20 White Castle hamburgers into his mouth. “Twasn’t the promise of future conquests nor the touch of a woman that could heal the sting of defeat. Comfort came in the form of the salted fries, toasted buns, and greasy hamburger patties of a McDonald’s combo meal.”

“My wife left me long ago, and I lost the respect of every single Spartan solider,” he added. “But by God, fast food is just too good, and I have no intention of giving it up.”